{ Delivery }

Delivery. I knew it was going to be scary...and I was completely wrong. It was the most magical, beautiful, spiritual experience I've ever had.

The second Cam and I stepped into the labor and delivery floor, we were greeted with smiles and the most kind and generous nurses we've ever met! We had SUCH a great experience with Alta View and are so incredibly excited (maybe just me) to have more kids at that hospital.

Our nurse showed us around the floor and then took us to our room. She was sweet and had dark curly hair. She got me prepped by asking me several questions and told me that I was being induced for IUGR. I had no idea what that meant until then. It basically means that my placenta gave out and Scottie stopped growing. (Dr. Smith said there's no way to actually test for it, but it's more of a diagnosis if your baby is small. We won't know for sure if she was in fact IUGR until I have my second baby. If my second baby is small, all my babies are probably IUGR.)

After asking me a million questions, the nurse got me prepped for my IV. She couldn't find a good vein in my arm, hand, anywhere. So she tried the vein she thought might work,  but it blew. So she called in another nurse to see if they could find another one. The nurse came in, tried the other vein on my opposite wrist. Blew. By that point both my wrists felt like someone had snapped them they hurt so bad. I couldn't move them. Both nurses didn't feel comfortable going for another vein so they called in a Dr.

My mom and dad wanted to come say hi and wish me luck so they came in at that point. The Dr. walked in and my dad actually knew the guy! He was a Dr. that served with him when they were in the Phillipines together for operation smile. Small world. So they small talked while he rubbed the crap out of my arm and pulled on it and put a hot blanket on it to see if they could get any veins to show. The Dr. couldn't find anything besides the vein in the crease of my arm, so he went for that one. That's typically the last resort because when you're pushing in active labor, your arms bend and that bends the IV which makes a really annoying beeping sound go off until you un-kink your arm. I heard that noise SEVERAL times throughout active labor.

After the IV was set, my parents said their goodbyes. My mom wished me luck and I told her I was scared. Cried a little and tried to tough it up. My arms and wrists hurt so incredibly bad that I was in so much pain and thought I can't do this. How am I supposed to do labor if I can't even stand the IV?! Cam kept asking me what was wrong and those were my thoughts. I'm going to fail at delivery because I'm in so much pain and can't move my arms. The nurse came back in, inserted the first Cytotec around midnight and told me to try to get some rest. So I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

I was actually pretty tired so I slept a bit and so did Cam. A couple hours went by and I woke up suddenly feeling so incredibly nauseous so I rang my nurse button and told them I was feeling nauseous. I knew I couldn't hold it so I told Cam to hurry and get me a cup.  Just in the nick of time, he got me a cup and there it went. The nurse came in shortly after with a Zofran. She gave me the Zofran and I felt better. She also inserted another Cytotec because I wasn't dilating as quickly as she'd expect. Then I went back to sleep.

I woke up around 6 a.m. and the nurse told me I was dilated to a two. At that point I could feel my contractions but they felt like cramps. 7 a.m. hit and the nurses switched shifts and I met my favorite nurse Brenda! Dr. Smith also came in and broke my water. When he broke my water he said that nothing was coming out because of how little fluid I had in me. They were going to start me on Pitocin at that point and I couldn't decide if I should wait out my contractions until they were bad to get my epidural or get it at that point. My nurse from the night before told me if I was going to get it, I might as well get it now and there's no point in really waiting it out. So I did it. I got my epidural and just about broke Cam's hand while they inserted the needle.

All bases were officially taken care of and now it was just the waiting game. I just had to wait to dilate to a 10. My nurse Brenda kept coming in to check my vitals and I called her Wendy for the first couple hours. I was delirious! At one point I asked Cam to check her nurse card to make sure that was her name and of course, it wasn't her name. I was SO incredibly embarrassed so the next time she came in I apologized and started calling her Brenda.

I was pretty tired so I slept most of the morning. A couple hours later, Dr. Smith came to check me and I was only a 3. We increased my Pitocin dosage. By 12:00 p.m., Dr. Smith came in to check again and I was only a 4. He was hoping I'd be dilated more but wanted to keep a close eye on Scottie and how she was handling the Pitocin/contractions so he put this rope device around her head to monitor her more closely.

Brenda brought me a cotton ball with Lavender essential oils on it for me to smell and try to relax more while I kept dilating. We also turned on a breastfeeding video the hospital provided. About 30 minutes into the video, Brenda came into the room and said, "let's pause the video, I want to check you again". Then I hear her say "Um, ok! You're a 10. You're ready." I went from a 4 to a 10 in one hour! I started to cry when Brenda told me that I was ready to start pushing. I had so much emotion just come over me and I remember saying "I'm not supposed to cry yet!". I just couldn't believe the moment I had been waiting for my entire life was finally here. I was ready to meet my little girl. I'd wanted to be a mother for as long as I could remember and I was about to officially become one.

Brenda got everyone ready. Cam called Mari and my mom and told them to hurry to the hospital. Mari had just put Airi down for a nap so she had to drop her off so she could make it. I was so worried she wouldn't make it to the hospital before I had Scottie.

I started pushing and a couple minutes later, Mari and my mom were at the hospital. I remember pushing and thinking ok I have to get this girl out FAST! I know people have their own opinions but I wanted her out of that canal. Cam stood by my side and held my hand/leg/oxygen mask. He swore he wouldn't look but he watched the entire birth. I was so proud of him and where I'd normally think that was repulsive, I thought it was beautiful at the time. I pushed for twenty minutes and then Brenda told me to stop pushing because she could see her head and Dr. Smith was still at lunch. Still at lunch?! I was about to push this baby out. She even said that she has delivered a few babies before but she didn't like to cause they were slippery :) A few minutes later we saw Dr. Smith's Porshe pull in from lunch. He came in with a big smile on his face and got prepped to deliver our Scottie. One big push and Dr. Smith told me to stop because she was here! Scottie was here. The baby I'd been waiting for my entire life. He pulled her out and laid her on my chest. I couldn't even contain myself. I was sobbing. I'd never felt so much love in my life before. I was so overwhelmed with joy and love as this tiny 5 lb 2 oz baby was laying on my chest. Scottie didn't come out crying and the nurses were supposed to check vitals on my chest, but since they couldn't get a strong cry, Cam quickly cut the umbilical cord  and they took her to the corner to make sure she was ok.

I remember looking over in the corner asking everyone if she was ok. Dr. Smith had me push one more time for the placenta and I don't even remember pushing or any of the conversation that we had because all I wanted was my little girl. After a while, the newborn team was able to get more fluid out of her lungs. They told Cam to come talk to her and immediately, she looked right at him. It's like she could totally recognize the voice and knew who he was. That was a special moment. They finally brought her back to me after what felt like ages. We did skin to skin and I felt so calm. I was so relieved that we had our baby girl here. She was a tiny little doll and I could cup her entire back in my little hands. I experienced heaven that day.

Cam and I are so grateful we were able to overcome our infertility trial. That was one of the hardest years in my life, but it has been replaced with these feelings of love from our perfect little baby. I will never take her for granted and will try to be the best mother that I can be for her.

We love our Scottie girl so much.

Until next time,

KRR

{ The News At 38 Weeks }

At 39 1/2 weeks, I was told I would have my baby in my arms within less than 24 hrs. WHAT!? I freaked out.

My Dr. does one last ultrasound at 38 weeks to check baby one last time and get an estimate on her weight. The ultrasound estimated 5 lbs 8 oz so we knew that she would be a small baby. We also knew that because for the last three weeks, my belly was measuring the same and on my last measurement, I lost a couple centimeters. The ultrasound also told us something else. My amniotic fluid was low. Dr. Smith measures from the baby to the uterine wall and the fluid was at a 6. Typically he sends women to labor and delivery if you're a 5 or below so he told me to drink a ton of fluid that week and I'd come back in 5 days to see where I was at. If I was below a 6, we would get induced and I would have our baby.

Cam came with me to that appointment because we knew we would see her in the ultrasound. (You couldn't see anything just a baby all squished in a tiny tummy). I'm so thankful Cam was there because I was in panick mode. I mean, I knew I had a baby coming obviously but for him to tell me we would be having her possibly by next week was so crazy to me! It was a little scary because he told me to monitor her very closely. He told me if I felt that there was anything wrong, anything at all, come straight into labor and delivery.

So, Cam and I went home and I filled a huge water bottle up and got straight to work. I had at least 10 huge water bottles a day and was peeing every two seconds. I could still feel Scottie moving inside so I knew that was a good sign. But one thing I noticed when laying down at night, is that when she would kick me, it. would. hurt! Bad! I remember thinking oh, my gosh...she's going to break through my belly! I could literally see a point in my belly where she was kicking. And now that we know I had low to almost no amniotic fluid it all makes sense.

Five days later, Cam and I went back to Dr. Smith for the ultrasound appointment where we would determine our next steps. I was 39 1/2 weeks at the time. Dr. Smith asked how I was feeling and I told him we were excited but also nervous and scared because we want a healthy baby. He turned the lights off, got out his ultrasound machine, and started measuring. Right away his face dropped and then he turned to me and said ok. Your fluid level dropped to a 3 so we're going to have this baby today.

I remember looking at Dr. Smith with my jaw wide open and my hands on my face. What did he just say?! We're having this baby today. I could tell by his face it was concerning so it was a little scary. He told me not to worry and to go home and get ready for this baby. We were told to come back around 9 p.m. that night where they would insert Cerdivil and then start me on Pitocin at 7 a.m. the next morning. I turned to Dr. Smith and asked, "So what do I do for 6 hrs?! How can I just sit at home?" He told us to go to a movie, eat dinner, have fun and relax.

I wanted something hearty for my last meal since they would practically starve me from the moment I went back to the hospital so Cam and I went to Salt City to get a burger. Then we went home, Cam took an uninterrupted napped for the last time, I painted my nails, and made sure we had everything packed for the hospital. (Who am I kidding, you know I had my bags packed weeks before and were already in the car at my 38 week appointment).

The nurse called me at 7 p.m. and told me they were ready for me! Told me to come at 8:00 p.m. and to bring my own pillows because "she had a ton but she was sure mine were more comfortable". She was sweet and comforting. Told me they'd take care of me.

Cam and I got in the car and that was the last time we were ever a family of two.

To be continued....delivery.

Until next time,

KRR

{ Scottie Yuki Ryther | 2 Months }

Weight: TBD
Height: TBD

Scottie's two months old!

I look back on the last month and don't really know WHAT in the world happened. I feel like I've been living in a dream. Our poor girl got sick just as she hit 1 month. Her sneezing started to sound raspy, started coughing, choking, and then the vomiting. The tiny thing couldn't keep anything down and when she tried to eat, she couldn't because she couldn't breathe out of her nose. Long story short, we took her to the ER and admitted her for RSV. Poor babe was on oxygen and in the hospital for five days. Cam and I camped out on a tiny chair, yes, chair. Not couch, but a chair that pulled out into a bed and we somehow maneuvered it so that we could both sleep on it. There was no way we were leaving our babes side.

Finally after 13 long days of being sick, myself included, we started feeling better! Since then, we've been trying to keep ourselves quarantined while still taking our occasional trips to Target :) What I can say is that we will always have a huge bottle of hand sanitizer on our kitchen table.

Scottie is VERY alert! She's always looking around and gets bored when you sit in one place. Loves to walk around and see the world. She's starting to find her voice, talks to the toys above her swing, and loves to give Cam and I several huge gummy smiles throughout the day. It's the absolute best when she wakes up in the morning and you stick your head over the bassinet and she gives you the biggest smile like "Hi! You found me!".

The hair situation is starting to get under control...kind of. She had a "craig" hair-do for a long time, baldie up top and party on the sides. But she's finally starting to get more peach fuzz on top! I'm hoping the hair stays and that she finally gets some luscious locks.

Scottie eats. non. stop. She's always eating! I think she's going through a growth spurt because if she's not eating, she's dreaming or crying/begging me for the next feeding. I've had a hard time getting my milk supply back up since I've been sick so that's been kind of hard for me. Talk about a mind consuming thing! People tell you not to stress or it will affect your supply, well, I stress. How do you not?? So I've been trying to pump to help with that situation. Hopefully I'm giving her enough because she's a huuungry girl.

We're so proud of our girl for punching RSV in the face (literally she karate chopped it in the pic below) and making it out alright. We love her so!

Until next time,

KRR