July 14, 2017
Weight: 15 lbs 2 oz
Happy seven months Scottie. It's been one month since Scottie had your breathing accident but I just can't get over it. Whenever people ask me how things are going, I refer to Scottie's accident as if it was just a week away. Cam reminded me the other day that it has been a month but it seems as if it were yesterday.
I will never get over that day.
We've taken you to see a neurologist since then. That was a hard day and I've never seen Cam more destraught then that day. I'm usually the weak one but I had to be strong for him. We had to strap you down as they put about 30 suction cups with wires to your head. Then they wrapped your head with gauze so everything would stay in place. Scottie was inconsolible. I've only seen her cry like that a few times and it was similar to her pain when she was deep suctioned in the hospital at 4 weeks old. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry once I saw her mummified, so I did both. They had me hold Scottie and wanted her to sleep for some of her test. The test ran for 30 minutes as they watched her on the camera and watched her brain activity. Cam was having a really hard time because the neurologist was trying to find any clues as to why her accident happened. She saw that Scottie tucks her thumb and thought it could be a sign of Cerebral Palsy. For some reason, I was very calm. I was confident that she didn't have it. I didn't think it was anything but it hit Cam very hard. We both cried when the EEG nurse left us to be monitored. I think Cam and I have been through a lot when it comes to Scottie. We've been through a lot as a couple this year, and I can't help but think Scottie's accidents were meant to teach us something. We needed to come together and rely on each other for love and strength. I would never wish Scottie's accidents upon anyone, but I know that Cam and I have grown from them.
I wish I could say that the pain and anxiety of the day of her accident will go away, but I don't think it ever will. I truly believed that I lost our beautiful Scottie girl. Every night, I'm reminded of that moment and I am so beyond grateful that she's still with us. We truly had angels in our house that night. I know there were angels helping Scottie come back to us.
As for things you're doing these days. We're back on track and starting solids again! I had to take a moment to pause and focus on Scottie because I didn't want any chance of choking or anything dangerous, so we went back to pureed foods. Scottie came back into my room because of my anxiety. She wore the Owlet sock every single night and it gave me peace until it didn't. Haha the sock unfortantely would go off every once in a while. Mostly the alarms where it couldn't get a good reading but there was one night where the red alarm went off. I ran as fast as I have ever run into Scottie's room to check on her. She was fine.
The anxiety has been a hard thing for me to balance these days. It takes over my body and every squeal, every weird facial expression. It makes me think she can't breathe.
Poor Scottie got another bug and I took her into the Dr.'s to make sure she was ok. Cam and I both knew she was sick but wanted to check to make sure it wasn't anything abnormal. She had a high fever of 102 that lasted about 4 days and then she broke out with a rash so my mom thinks it was Roseola. I remember giving her a bath and dressing her for bed and she was shivering uncontrollably. The face she was making was similar to what I saw during her accident so I was very high strung when she was sick.
Whenever Scottie gets sick, my PTSD kicks in. I just want her to be safe and happy and healthy.
Scottie went on her first vacation with the Beste family! We went to their family reunion in Island Park and she was able to hang out with all the cousins. Everyone was fighting over her because she's so dang cute. She loves to splash in the tub and is already trying to stand. She's such a big girl!
Until next time,
KRR
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
{ Scottie Yuki Ryther | 9 Months }
Weight: 15 lbs 9 oz
Happy nine months to our Scottie girl! I can't believe she's getting so old. (Classic mom talk, am I right?) I've turned into one of those moms already!
I was talking to one of my friends at church the other day and she reminded me "nine months in, nine months out!" I totally didn't even realize it. It's crazy to me how much she has grown. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally. She's such a funny girl these days. She's so very determined to do her own thing and explore EVERYTHING. She's very attentive. To every detail. And I mean EVERY detail. From the day she could see the world she has been looking around and observing every little thing.
When I rock her to sleep in the rocking chair, she sits there and scratches at the material. When I wear jewelry, which is a VERY rare occasion these days, she'll sit there and pull at it. When I have any sort of detail on my shirt, pulling at it. She's so curious and wants to see it all.
Scottie learned to do so many things this month. She started to pull herself up to stand on just about everything. She can even let go with one hand and just stand there. Sometimes she'll take a step or two! She learned to walk with help. If you hold her hands, she'll just cruise. She loves walking. She's always watched the older cousins and you can see how desperately she wants to walk and run with them in here little eyes.
The poor girl got sick...AGAIN. This is her 5th time being sick in 9 months. It may not seem like much, but when the runny nose lasts 3 weeks, it seems like she's been sick A LOT! Apparently kids can get 10-15 colds a year. That's insane! We had a rough start with this one though. I was alone in Logan, staying the night with Caisie because Cam was still in the Phillipines. Oh yeah, Cam went to the Phillipines to visit his mission! We did the single mom thing for 10 days and it was HARD. Anyways, back to Caisie. We were at her house and everything was fine, until it wasn't. We laid down for bed and I could hear it. Her stuffy/runny nose. She couldn't breathe and was making weird sounds. She would wake up every 10 minutes and cry and I was so nervous she would wake up Caisie's kids. She kept screaming and it was like nothing before. She never did that! So I started panicking and my PTSD kicked in again. Remembering the bad times and I was all alone in the basement. I called my parents, and they drove from Bear Lake at 1 am to Logan, and drove us home to SLC. I felt so incredibly bad but I couldn't shake the anxiety. It was real and takes over when Scottie gets sick. I want to overcome it one day. I need to overcome it.
Scottie also learned to pick up food and eat real human food! She's been doing this for a while now but I think she's learned to not choke which was our problem at the beginning. I was terrified all the time so I just kept giving her pureed fruits and veggies. She didn't mind it. She actually loves her little squeezie and chugs it right out of the bottle now!
She's learned how to drink out of a straw and will DOWN water. LOVES water. The kid could drink water all day if I let her.
Scottie makes this funny squinty face when I say "no don't touch that" or "ahh no!" if she's really naughty and grabbing a cord, outlet, or lamp :S. Naughty girl.
Scottie says mama and dada. Mostly dada. She makes funny noises with her tongue and still makes little kitty cat noises all the time.
People still call her a "doll". Literally. Her big blue eyes that she got from her dad and her very round and still bald head are very "doll" like.
Scottie naps twice a day for two to three hours which is really awesome. Gives me time to work and clean and rest for a bit. Unfortunately the night routine hasn't gotten much better. She'll get up at midnight, 2am, 4am, and wakes up at 8am. Lately it's been midnight, 3am, 6am, wakes up at 8am. BUT I'm trying to enjoy it. People say it won't last forever and I get it, but it's exhausting nonetheless. I want to say that she's scared throughout the night and that's why she wakes up. It's like she needs me. And I'm ok with that if she needs me. I just wish I could keep her in my bed all the time and just have little sleepovers with her! Lately I'll bring her to bed with me at 4am and we'll sleep till 8 together. She's the cutest. She'll lay her head right on my chest or even on my face sometimes to fall asleep haha. Sometimes you just need to be touching your mom right??
We love our little Scottie girl that's growing up so fast.
Dear Scottie,
I am so proud of you. I say this every month but THIS month especially. You learned so much! It's so fun to see you grow. You giggle and smile at me all the time. When you smile at mom it makes me so happy to see that you're happy. That's all I ever want for you is for you to be happy. Remember to live life how you live now. Carefree and joyful. You're the biggest blessing for mom and dad and we couldn't thank you enough for your sweet little spirit. You teach us to be patient. You teach us to love deeper. Dad is absolutely smitten by you. He comes home from work and says over and over "I missed you!". It's so sweet to see the love between you and your dad. I hope that one day you can use that love you've learned from him and find someone to take just as good, if not better care of you and your precious heart. I love you so Scottie girl.
XOXO
Mom
Happy nine months to our Scottie girl! I can't believe she's getting so old. (Classic mom talk, am I right?) I've turned into one of those moms already!
I was talking to one of my friends at church the other day and she reminded me "nine months in, nine months out!" I totally didn't even realize it. It's crazy to me how much she has grown. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally. She's such a funny girl these days. She's so very determined to do her own thing and explore EVERYTHING. She's very attentive. To every detail. And I mean EVERY detail. From the day she could see the world she has been looking around and observing every little thing.
When I rock her to sleep in the rocking chair, she sits there and scratches at the material. When I wear jewelry, which is a VERY rare occasion these days, she'll sit there and pull at it. When I have any sort of detail on my shirt, pulling at it. She's so curious and wants to see it all.
Scottie learned to do so many things this month. She started to pull herself up to stand on just about everything. She can even let go with one hand and just stand there. Sometimes she'll take a step or two! She learned to walk with help. If you hold her hands, she'll just cruise. She loves walking. She's always watched the older cousins and you can see how desperately she wants to walk and run with them in here little eyes.
The poor girl got sick...AGAIN. This is her 5th time being sick in 9 months. It may not seem like much, but when the runny nose lasts 3 weeks, it seems like she's been sick A LOT! Apparently kids can get 10-15 colds a year. That's insane! We had a rough start with this one though. I was alone in Logan, staying the night with Caisie because Cam was still in the Phillipines. Oh yeah, Cam went to the Phillipines to visit his mission! We did the single mom thing for 10 days and it was HARD. Anyways, back to Caisie. We were at her house and everything was fine, until it wasn't. We laid down for bed and I could hear it. Her stuffy/runny nose. She couldn't breathe and was making weird sounds. She would wake up every 10 minutes and cry and I was so nervous she would wake up Caisie's kids. She kept screaming and it was like nothing before. She never did that! So I started panicking and my PTSD kicked in again. Remembering the bad times and I was all alone in the basement. I called my parents, and they drove from Bear Lake at 1 am to Logan, and drove us home to SLC. I felt so incredibly bad but I couldn't shake the anxiety. It was real and takes over when Scottie gets sick. I want to overcome it one day. I need to overcome it.
Scottie also learned to pick up food and eat real human food! She's been doing this for a while now but I think she's learned to not choke which was our problem at the beginning. I was terrified all the time so I just kept giving her pureed fruits and veggies. She didn't mind it. She actually loves her little squeezie and chugs it right out of the bottle now!
She's learned how to drink out of a straw and will DOWN water. LOVES water. The kid could drink water all day if I let her.
Scottie makes this funny squinty face when I say "no don't touch that" or "ahh no!" if she's really naughty and grabbing a cord, outlet, or lamp :S. Naughty girl.
Scottie says mama and dada. Mostly dada. She makes funny noises with her tongue and still makes little kitty cat noises all the time.
People still call her a "doll". Literally. Her big blue eyes that she got from her dad and her very round and still bald head are very "doll" like.
Scottie naps twice a day for two to three hours which is really awesome. Gives me time to work and clean and rest for a bit. Unfortunately the night routine hasn't gotten much better. She'll get up at midnight, 2am, 4am, and wakes up at 8am. Lately it's been midnight, 3am, 6am, wakes up at 8am. BUT I'm trying to enjoy it. People say it won't last forever and I get it, but it's exhausting nonetheless. I want to say that she's scared throughout the night and that's why she wakes up. It's like she needs me. And I'm ok with that if she needs me. I just wish I could keep her in my bed all the time and just have little sleepovers with her! Lately I'll bring her to bed with me at 4am and we'll sleep till 8 together. She's the cutest. She'll lay her head right on my chest or even on my face sometimes to fall asleep haha. Sometimes you just need to be touching your mom right??
We love our little Scottie girl that's growing up so fast.
Dear Scottie,
I am so proud of you. I say this every month but THIS month especially. You learned so much! It's so fun to see you grow. You giggle and smile at me all the time. When you smile at mom it makes me so happy to see that you're happy. That's all I ever want for you is for you to be happy. Remember to live life how you live now. Carefree and joyful. You're the biggest blessing for mom and dad and we couldn't thank you enough for your sweet little spirit. You teach us to be patient. You teach us to love deeper. Dad is absolutely smitten by you. He comes home from work and says over and over "I missed you!". It's so sweet to see the love between you and your dad. I hope that one day you can use that love you've learned from him and find someone to take just as good, if not better care of you and your precious heart. I love you so Scottie girl.
XOXO
Mom
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