SYTYCD.

So you think you can dance. What an inspirational/heartbreaking show to watch. Every time I watch it, I feel inspired. I feel proud that I have been a dancer all my life and many emotions that I've had within my dance career start flooding back into my mind. First off, I love dance. I've loved dance ever since I was three years old. I don't know what it is, if it is the determination, passion, or the healing treatment that I have a love for or what, but I know that there is something about dance that keeps me going. It keeps me alive. I haven't been dancing at competitions every other weekend. I haven't been dancing 12+ hours a week. But I do have those memories and feelings that I will never forget or trade for anything in the world. Many people say the dance world is messed up. And yes, that is probably true. And I'll admit, there were always insecurities about not being skinny enough, not having a strong turn out, not having beautiful high arched feet, not having a flexible body, and not having legs that were long and beautiful, but I got over all of that. I was able to look past that because I took something else from dance. I took something from dance that I will never be able to take from anything else.

Something about growing up within the dance world teaches you a lot about yourself and how to become a better person and dancer. I think that through all of my trials and struggles in dance, I've been able to see how dance has shaped me into who I am today. I'm not talking physical shapes (Of course not. I have the Japanese gene of no flexibility and short stubby legs...sorry mom.) I'm talking shaping myself by pushing myself so hard that I'm crying because my emotions are real. Pushing myself to where I think that I'm going to break. I truly miss those moments where I felt that feeling of hard work.

Another aspect of dance that will always stay with me, because I know for a fact that my body won't stay with me (it's already gone....sad) are friendships. Friendships that I have made on this journey of 17 long years. I have grown close to SO many different beautiful girls because of the special bond that dance brings. I will be forever grateful for these. Some in specific are:

Kenzi Staples

This girl is beautiful. We danced together in Jr. High and High school. She taught me how to be a true friend to someone and to love until there is nothing left. She's always been the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

Jeni Hallgren

This girl is hilarious. We shared so many funny memories together whether it was in dance or at her home watching some pathetic reality show in her huge bed at our sleepovers.

Abbie Owens

This girl taught me the gospel. She was someone that I looked towards for guidance and great examples. We had little sisters the same age so we were all very close and had a family of best friends.

Rachel Taft (right)

This girl wrote me one of the most kind and thoughtful card that I have ever received in my life! I will never forget what she said to me. "Dance to the heavens above"

There are many many others that I would like to tell you about but there is just not enough time.

Last but not least.....my best friend.

Misa Osterloh

This girl is something else. She makes me laugh, cry, giggle, makes me wanna hit her sometimes. She is goofy, hilarious, charitable, loving, kind, and such a hoot to be around! I have had the privilege of being able to dance with her in High school and hopefully college :) She has been the biggest light in my life and I can't wait to start many more memories with her at Utah State.

Well that's it. Dance is my life. Dance will always be my life even though sometimes my outer appearance may not say so. I may not be on the show SYTYCD, and I may not do anything extravagant with dance in my future, but I will keep my memories close and will cherish them forever.