Sunday, September 18, 2011

Someone.

Dear blog,

Ok, first of all...it has been FAR too long! And second. I think I know why my life hasn't been in order for the past few months. I haven't been blogging! And blogging is one of my best medicines in life. It is a necessity for my brain because I am able to get everything out. Get it all out there and clear my thoughts. So excuse this blog post because I have A LOT I've been thinking about lately..

So I'm back at school doing the same old thing. Going to school...studying...being an ambassador...dancing and living a busy life just like every other year that I've attended USU. At the beginning of each school year, I wonder why. Every school year, I get caught up in all of my commitments and wonder why I put myself through all of the stress and anxiety that I get from these things. I honestly cannot understand why I do it. And the odd thing is that I keep doing it. Everyone that knows me, knows that I have a passion for cosmetology, and for the past few days I have really been thinking about leaving Utah State so that I can stop wasting my time and start studying what I truly want to be doing. Studying cosmetology would make me so happy but at the same time, I would be leaving a lot of great things at Utah State. I have met so many life-long friends here and have had the opportunity to keep dancing which has been a passion of mine for over 18 years. My little sister, Misa, just came up here to be at school and dance with me. I'm also very blessed to have this amazing opportunity to receive a college education for free because of the Ambassadors program. But the thing is, I don't really enjoy school. School becomes a huge stress in my life and I don't like it. But then again, does anyone truly enjoy school? Am I wasting my time here at Utah State? Should I move home and study what I love rather than what I "should" be doing? Do I move away from this amazing scholarship that I have just to do something that I have a passion for? It's hard for me to logically think through this situation because yes, it is good to get a college education, but at the same time, my heart is somewhere else. I wish that someone could just tell me. So, someone...please tell me what to do.

3 comments:

  1. I love this. And I LOVE that you are back in blog world. I've been checking your blog on the daily hoping and praying it'd have an update. Today was the day. YES. I wish someone could just TELL us what our lives are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do...but I know in the end, it will all work out as it is supposed to. As long as you do your part, the Man upstairs will do the rest :) love you.

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