{ Mom. It's all I've ever dreamt about. }

Babies and corporate. Doesn't go together am I right? 9-5 craziness and babies? How. I've been one of three women on my team and when I say one of three, I mean youngest, no kids, aka not in my 40's! I knew that taking this sales job that it would be difficult and stressful but I took the job thinking I'll get pregnant in a few months and quit! What was I thinking. Cam and I tried to get pregnant for a little over a year. Every month that passed was a full day of depression as I wasn't pregnant. It was so hard for me to take those dang tests and see a negative sign every month. I'd make up an excuse and leave work crying. I'd never wanted anything more in life and cam and I were finally at a point where he felt comfortable to bring kids into this world.

Once we hit a year of actively trying to get pregnant, we decided to take it a step further and go to an infertility specialist. I remember going to the Dr. and thinking, is this really happening?! Am I really seeing an infertility Dr.? Dr. Smith is in my parents stake and my dad met him at a stake event where he talked about how he went to Tulane med school where tanner is! Dr. Smith took me into his office to talk before we went into the patient room and i can tell you this made me feel so incredibly important. He sat me down, asked me how I was feeling, asked if it made me sad, talked to me like a real person. Then we went into the room to talk about next steps. He wanted us to start tests and we did. Cam's test came back with some irregularities and since Dr. Smith is an OBGYN, he told us to go to the reproductive center. Now this place was a full on center for couples who couldn't get pregnant. This day was rough. We walked in, got a packet talking about all the expensive tests we'd do. We met with the Dr. for a consultation and he wanted me to undergo a test where they'd insert dye in my tubes or go in through my belly button with my camera along with a ton of blood work. I left the office that day heart broken. I called me dad for advice as we had to talk through insurance options with the billing ladies and figure out what was the cheapest way to do this. I could hardly tell my dad I was doing infertility tests...I remember choking up on my drive home, my eyes completely blurry with so many tears. As I told him out loud it made it real. I felt like I was living my worst nightmare as I have always wanted to be a mom. More than anything. I told people growing up that I wanted to be a mom. That's how badly I wanted this and I couldn't believe this was happening to me. My heart physically hurt. I called the office, cam and I scheduled our tests and we went on with life. Cam's test came back 100% great! I waited for my tests and of course the week I had to go in for them I had to travel for work. I called the office telling them I had to cancel and planned on going in the next month.

I thought alright well I guess we will just  have to wait ANOTHER month. That next month I got pregnant.

Pregnant! Did I seriously see that big, blue, incredibly dark plus sign?!! That was one of the best days I've ever had and I'll never forget it. I immediately said a prayer in my heart and then the tears streamed down my face. I think I was laughing+crying. Heavenly Father has blessed me with a beautiful baby and has trusted me to be a mother. All of my dreams are coming true this Christmas Eve.

{ Instructure: The Career I Thought I'd Never Have }

It's been a VERY long time since I've written about my life. I want to remember this time on my life as I've truly grown as a person so much. I've learned what it means to have a career. A 9-5 long days, lots of stress, let me say that again, LOTS of stress, high days, low days, empowering days, sad days, days where I feel small, days where I feel unbreakable. I want this post to be dedicated to the company I work for today. Instructure, inc. I heard about Instructure through Sam Spendlove, my freshman Ambassador mentor. Cam and her husband were playing together on a coed soccer team and I ran into her one day during spring semester of my senior year. I had no idea what I was going to do for work but she told me about this amazing company with awesome benefits and a culture so great that people rode scooters and shot darts in the office. I said ok to applying to this Market Development Representative Position as I naturally would just apply for something in Marketing as that's what I studied in college.   Little did I know this position would grow into a career that has taught me about who I am. 

I went in for an interview and it was between me and another girl who spoke Spanish  they took her. 

I interviewed at an online marketing company in American Fork called Orange Soda as I just needed ANY job. Cam and I were moving from Logan to SLC so that I could get a big girl job to support cam as he finished his bachelors at the University of Utah. Two days later, Orange Soda called me with a job as a Pay per click strategist. Heaven knows I LITERALLY had no idea what that was even after getting the job. I just knew it was a job with benefits and decent pay. I took it and worked there for three months and really didn't enjoy it. I ate lunch in my car some days. I know. Really depressing. I thought, ok Kumi stop being a baby and just work hard and learn all you can to be good at your job. After a couple weeks of crying on the phone to cam, we decided I needed a change. 

That week I received a LinkedIn message from Mike Rutkowski, the guy who interviewed me at Instructure. He told me there was an opening on his team and he wanted me! Went back for another interview and got he job. From there I met two of my very best friends that I adore and love to this day. Fred and Shanae. I was on Shanae's team and quickly progresses and was promoted to be an ADM, which then quickly turned into the ADM Team Lead where I managed four other K12 ADMs. Work was great. Up to that point at Instructure, I had blown my numbers out of the water every month. I don't want to gloat, but it's just fact that the position was simple for me. There were challenges of course managing others, but as far as the work went, it was simple for me. But Mike wanted to keep pushing me. I had told him I was slightly interested in sales and he told me he thought the same. He gave me the confidence to move forward and work towards becoming a Regional Director. I told myself after taking Professor Bone's sales class I'd never be in sales. Never would I ever do that! Why would I ever want to put myself in awkward stressful situations?? Bone's class was challenging. Very outside of your comfort level but I can tell you looking back that is the most impactful class I ever took. Oh and it was only 4 weeks long because it was a half semester course. I'll never forget SNE! Always SNE--schedule the next event.

As time went on, I kept preparing for sales even though it scared the crap out of me. Mike sent me an email telling me to call him. We were in Japan celebrating Misa and Tanner getting married and when I opened that email I panicked! I knew this was it. I called him and he told me there was an opening in sales and he wanted me to apply for it. Sheepishly and so not feeling confident in myself I asked if he thought I was truly ready. He said yes. I kept thinking to myself oh gosh, is this real?? Do I do this?? A couple weeks later I had an interview with Linda Larsen, the National director of K12 Sales. Linda and I hadn't had a ton of interaction but I had been on her radar for a long time as everyone told her about my work. She pulled me aside a couple months before this and asked if I'd like to be on her team. She said she knew about my work and needed some women.The interview was a breeze honestly. My colleagues knew me already. It was like we were just chatting in a room and they were so good to me during my demo (which I'm sure was horrendous) I was offered the job two weeks later. I owe this position and the experiences I'm having to the leaders in my life. Mike pushed me to progress here and on top of that my current manager, Brett and Linda push me to do well everyday. I just feel so incredibly lucky to be doing what I'm doing right now. I'm 24 years old for crying out loud! I've been to Alabama twice, Tennessee twice, Florida four times in seven months, and there are more trips to come. 

{ Workin' woman }

What a crazy past couple of months!

I've realized a lot about myself. Here's a warning to you all...deep thoughts post comin' in hot...

I've realized that I don't know my full potential until I am pushed to do more. When I went to college, I knew that it was a good thing to get an education. I knew that it would be important. I knew it would help me in the long run. But little did I know how well I would do in the "corporate" world. I feel like I've been put on this path that I never really expected myself to be on. I never really expected myself to make something out of my education. Sure, I knew that I'd work somewhere for a few years or so, but never did I see anything long term. It's funny because Sarah and I were taking our so called morning walk in Bear Lake just the other week. She said "it's like people keep giving you these responsibilities that you don't want, but you end up taking it on and being so good at what you are given!". That was funny to me because she was totally right! I never thought I'd work in a big corporate office. I thought I'd go to college, get a good education, and grow up to be a mother. I've always wanted kids and figured I'd go to hair school to help support my family while my husband makes the big bucks... ;) right Cam? BUT I've realized, life doesn't always go as planned and things take you by surprise.

I recently got a promotion from my first position which I had started only about 10 months ago. My position now is the last step prior to sales if I decide to go in that direction. I also never thought I'd be a sales woman. Taking Professor Bone's sales class scared me so bad I just told myself I'd never do it. I would get nervous thinking of the final having to "sell" to my professor in a few weeks. But the more and more I think about where I'm at in life and where I can be, I just want it that much more. I realized that sales is an opportunity to work with people and I know that I'm good at that. I enjoy being with people and love making new friendships. It's just interesting to me to reflect back and think that I told myself I'd never do what I'm doing right now.

Cam keeps encouraging me to just go for it. He's my biggest supporter and a lot of the time I have a hard time because I just shut him down. He's just cute and I love him for that. But, I don't believe in myself and I know that needs to change. But I think that getting hired on by Instructure has given me experiences where I've learned I need to be strong and feel like I can be successful. I absolutely love where I'm at and just hope that I can continue to be successful not only for that sense of accomplishment, but to be able to support my family that I will have one day. One day, right?

That day will come :)

Camping for the 1st time this summer! Hot diggity dog.

We love our aftermath Costco shopping treats

Bees games with this babe

{ The Update }

I'm back! Finally. I want to start documenting my life with Cam because I want my little kiddies to be able to read about the experiences we went through.

Cam and I have moved three times within the last year. Blugh. 

I graduated in the Spring (2013) in Marketing, so we decided to make the big move back home to the 801 so that I could get a "big girl" job. But first, Cam and I needed to find a place to live. We found these darling apartments and were super excited because our friends Rach & Dave were also living there! We moved our stuff in and within a month, we started to get the munchies almost every night...yes, we had awesome neighbors. The neighbors were lighting up  every night to the point where Cam and I got in our car to spend the night at the parents house. So, unfortunately Cam and I had to fight our way out of our lease (more like threaten them that Cam's dad would take them to court), and had to find another place to live. We played secret agent for a while and Cam would talk to the management office while keeping his phone in his pocket to record their conversation. Pathetic I know, but it was getting to that point. The day we knew we were getting out of our lease, I hopped on KSL and found this beauutiful basement apartment. Within two days we were out of our lease, moved all of our stuff out of our old apartment (which we had only lived in for 3 months) and into the new apartment. 

It was SUCH a blessing.

So, during this entire fiasco, my first big girl job started out at Orangesoda which is an online marketing company down in American Fork. I was doing PPC (pay per click) work for the company but unfortunately, it wasn't the best fit for me. But being who I am, I kept trying hard to love it and kept pushing myself to do better every day. Sometimes I tend to over think things in life and I thought that was one of them so I kept chugging through. Long story short, I had interviewed with Instructure, Inc. months before I interviewed with OrangeSoda. Instructure gave me a call saying they were hiring again and wanted me in for another interview. I had just interviewed with them just a few months back and I was so excited that they wanted me to be considered for another position.

I went in for the interview and got a call a few days later telling me that I got the job! I was so very excited. It was such a blessing that I got this job because I could tell that I wasn't happy at Orangesoda. I would come home from work just so exhausted and would go straight to bed because I was drained.

Moving into our new apartment, and getting my job at Instructure, was truly a blessing from above. I am happier than ever at Instructure and can't wait to see what the future holds at this company.

Cam is continuing his Business degree at the U of U (not to mention that he's been to almost all the colleges in Utah; UVU, USU, SLCC, and now the U) and is loving that he can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. He will be done in about a year so he's getting really excited about that. I'm so proud of him for working hard and being ambitious about his future business plans. That is one thing that I've learned more about Cam since we've been married. He is so driven to be successful in this life. I know that he's going to do great things. So proud of him.

Now that Cam and I are back in SLC and are finally settled, we're loving where we're at right now. I've always had a hard time appreciating "living in the now" because I feel like I'm always looking for the next step. And we all know what the next step is after you get married. I've always dreamed of being a mother, so this was a really hard concept for me to grasp soon after we were married. I now realize that I needed that time with Cam so that we could learn and grow as a couple. I love Cam even more than I did on our wedding day when we kissed over that alter. He's taught me so much and I appreciate his endless love. He never gives up on me.

And there's your update!

Until next time,

KRR

{ Ambassadors...greatest people alive }

Is it truly all over? I can't believe it. Four years ago, the lovely Sam Spendlove made a road trip from Logan to my house in Salt Lake City to give me a Utah State University T-shirt. I remember exactly how it happened too.

Dad: "Kumi! The door is for you!"
Me (thinking): Crap... I'm still in my ugly dance clothes. I wonder who it is.
Sam: "Hi Kumi! Just wondering, what size of t-shirt are you?"
Me: "Um....small?"
Sam: "GREAT! Because I have a small shirt for you and you've been chosen to be an Ambassador for Utah State!"

It went something like that. I took the shirt from Sam and I think I was too shocked to express how excited I was but I remember that I couldn't stop smiling! My voice probably went really high like it always does when I'm expressing large amounts of emotion....don't know why it does that. It's a girl thing I think.

Four years ago, I was given one of the greatest opportunities of my life. I was chosen out of 450 students to be an Ambassador for Utah State University. My responsibilities were to recruit prospective students and to learn leadership, recruitment, and service skills. I can tell you now, that I have learned MUCH more than those things.

I have learned what it means to be a friend.
I have learned to appreciate my mentors.
I have learned to smile and enjoy work because technically, it isn't work!
I have learned to communicate with many types of people.
I have learned to speak in front of crowds. (Thanks to the million tours that I gave)
I have learned time management.
I have learned how to set goals.
I have learned to always set the bar higher.
I have learned to become a professional.
And I have learned who I am.

We had our end of the year banquet tonight and it made me realize how much of a family the Ambassadors team is. I came home and cried because I never understood how much the group meant to me until I had to leave it. It's my turn as a senior to move on in life and show off that A plate that I will soon be putting on my car. I'll always share my Aggie pride!

I want to give a shout out to each of my mentors because they taught me these things. This is cliche, but I am who I am because of my journey with the Ambassadors family. The people I've met, experiences I've had, will stay with me forever.

Until next time Ambassador fam,

KRR <3

Gave a tour to this gal. Her name was Kumi too!!

{ The Hubster }

Warning...

This post may be a little cheesy cause I'm dedicating it to my other half. I haven't blogged much about him but I want to start documenting our lives together. Here are some fun stories about Cam:

For the past few weeks I've been having these freaky nightmares about the strangest things. One, being about myself in the movie Wreck it Ralph. {Which by the way everyone should see because it is the CUTTEST most creative movie! I could watch it every day...literally. Cam can testify.} I dreamt that those mechanical monsters had babies everywhere and I had to kill all of them! First, I hate bugs. HAATE them. And second, dreams always feel SO real until you wake up right?? So, I finally wake up from this dream and roll over to Cam's side of the bed to say, "I had a bad dream". Immediately, I feel his arms wrap around me and I'm able to fall back to sleep. Like really?! Could he be any sweeter. And keep in mind this happens every two days or so. And every time I roll over he does the same thing. Every time. My mind likes to play tricks on me when I'm asleep. It's weird.

Another cute thing Cam does for me is warm up the bed. Don't jumping to conclusions people...he literally gets in bed before me and starts making snow angels to get the bed warm. Haha ok that was one time. {Name that movie} But still! It made me smile and it actually worked. Getting in a freezing bed when you're so tired and ready to just pass out is never ideal. 

Cam also takes me to get fro yo because yes, I am OBSESSED with it! I was taking weekly trips to Spoon Me before they went out of business because it was seriously an addiction. The original tart flavor literally has some drug in it that keeps me coming and I was so sad to hear they went out of business. Well this last spring break, Rach told me that frozen yogurt places have this flavor and I about died. So, now I will be visiting frozen yogurt places at least once a week thanks to Rach. But Cam deals with it. I've been begging him to go for weeks and we finally went the other day. My ice cream alone may or may not have been over six dollars...but hey. You love what you love right? I love tarty fro yo, so sue me. 

The list could go on and on about the adorable things my man does to make me happy. He's great at it and always tells me I'm beautiful. He knows exactly what I need when I need. I hope that everyone finds someone like him. Someone that treats them right and makes them the happiest person on earth. We all deserve that. 

I love the chump.

{ Baby sister is all grown up! }

My baby sister is going on a mission to Sapporo, Japan!

She left last Wednesday, March 13. This is crazy talk!

I'm seriously so sad that she is gone but have never been more proud. She's such a strong girl and has always been so independent, unlike me. My little sister has taught me so much and I have looked up to her my whole life because of the way she believes in herself. That is one thing that my sister taught me. She taught me how to be a an amazing dancer by letting go of what others thought of me and learning to dance for myself. To believe in myself.

Misa and I were lucky enough to be just two years apart so we went to Jr. high and High school together. I was able to look after her and she was able to look after me. We danced on Skyline's dance company and took many dance classes together after school. We were able to share the same passion and grow from that. She taught me to have courage in times when I was second guessing my leadership positions and this meant the world to me. I was the first one out of my family to go to Utah State, thinking I would make this journey alone...but nope. Misa came with me! This made me so unbelievably happy because my support system came with me! It was so fun having her up here with me, dancing together again, and watching cartoon movies with me when Cam said they were "too childish".

She has strengthened me when I was weak and she was my best friend in times of need.

I'm going to miss her so much!

She's goign to be an amazing missionary because of the light that she has carried through out her whole life. She has such a strong testimony and will be able to share that love with the people in Sapporo. I know that she is going to make a difference and will be remembered by those people. I just ask one thing...keep her safe!! Bring her back to my family when she's done serving. My family means so much to me and my sisters and I will be the "Osterloh sisters forever" no matter what. We're getting bigger each year but that won't break the bonds that my sisters and I have. We love our goofy selves too much to let go of that.

So, to the people of Sapporo Japan... Sister Misako Osterloh is coming your way! Get ready.

Until next time,

KRR <3