{ Mom. It's all I've ever dreamt about. }

Babies and corporate. Doesn't go together am I right? 9-5 craziness and babies? How. I've been one of three women on my team and when I say one of three, I mean youngest, no kids, aka not in my 40's! I knew that taking this sales job that it would be difficult and stressful but I took the job thinking I'll get pregnant in a few months and quit! What was I thinking. Cam and I tried to get pregnant for a little over a year. Every month that passed was a full day of depression as I wasn't pregnant. It was so hard for me to take those dang tests and see a negative sign every month. I'd make up an excuse and leave work crying. I'd never wanted anything more in life and cam and I were finally at a point where he felt comfortable to bring kids into this world.

Once we hit a year of actively trying to get pregnant, we decided to take it a step further and go to an infertility specialist. I remember going to the Dr. and thinking, is this really happening?! Am I really seeing an infertility Dr.? Dr. Smith is in my parents stake and my dad met him at a stake event where he talked about how he went to Tulane med school where tanner is! Dr. Smith took me into his office to talk before we went into the patient room and i can tell you this made me feel so incredibly important. He sat me down, asked me how I was feeling, asked if it made me sad, talked to me like a real person. Then we went into the room to talk about next steps. He wanted us to start tests and we did. Cam's test came back with some irregularities and since Dr. Smith is an OBGYN, he told us to go to the reproductive center. Now this place was a full on center for couples who couldn't get pregnant. This day was rough. We walked in, got a packet talking about all the expensive tests we'd do. We met with the Dr. for a consultation and he wanted me to undergo a test where they'd insert dye in my tubes or go in through my belly button with my camera along with a ton of blood work. I left the office that day heart broken. I called me dad for advice as we had to talk through insurance options with the billing ladies and figure out what was the cheapest way to do this. I could hardly tell my dad I was doing infertility tests...I remember choking up on my drive home, my eyes completely blurry with so many tears. As I told him out loud it made it real. I felt like I was living my worst nightmare as I have always wanted to be a mom. More than anything. I told people growing up that I wanted to be a mom. That's how badly I wanted this and I couldn't believe this was happening to me. My heart physically hurt. I called the office, cam and I scheduled our tests and we went on with life. Cam's test came back 100% great! I waited for my tests and of course the week I had to go in for them I had to travel for work. I called the office telling them I had to cancel and planned on going in the next month.

I thought alright well I guess we will just  have to wait ANOTHER month. That next month I got pregnant.

Pregnant! Did I seriously see that big, blue, incredibly dark plus sign?!! That was one of the best days I've ever had and I'll never forget it. I immediately said a prayer in my heart and then the tears streamed down my face. I think I was laughing+crying. Heavenly Father has blessed me with a beautiful baby and has trusted me to be a mother. All of my dreams are coming true this Christmas Eve.

{ Instructure: The Career I Thought I'd Never Have }

It's been a VERY long time since I've written about my life. I want to remember this time on my life as I've truly grown as a person so much. I've learned what it means to have a career. A 9-5 long days, lots of stress, let me say that again, LOTS of stress, high days, low days, empowering days, sad days, days where I feel small, days where I feel unbreakable. I want this post to be dedicated to the company I work for today. Instructure, inc. I heard about Instructure through Sam Spendlove, my freshman Ambassador mentor. Cam and her husband were playing together on a coed soccer team and I ran into her one day during spring semester of my senior year. I had no idea what I was going to do for work but she told me about this amazing company with awesome benefits and a culture so great that people rode scooters and shot darts in the office. I said ok to applying to this Market Development Representative Position as I naturally would just apply for something in Marketing as that's what I studied in college.   Little did I know this position would grow into a career that has taught me about who I am. 

I went in for an interview and it was between me and another girl who spoke Spanish  they took her. 

I interviewed at an online marketing company in American Fork called Orange Soda as I just needed ANY job. Cam and I were moving from Logan to SLC so that I could get a big girl job to support cam as he finished his bachelors at the University of Utah. Two days later, Orange Soda called me with a job as a Pay per click strategist. Heaven knows I LITERALLY had no idea what that was even after getting the job. I just knew it was a job with benefits and decent pay. I took it and worked there for three months and really didn't enjoy it. I ate lunch in my car some days. I know. Really depressing. I thought, ok Kumi stop being a baby and just work hard and learn all you can to be good at your job. After a couple weeks of crying on the phone to cam, we decided I needed a change. 

That week I received a LinkedIn message from Mike Rutkowski, the guy who interviewed me at Instructure. He told me there was an opening on his team and he wanted me! Went back for another interview and got he job. From there I met two of my very best friends that I adore and love to this day. Fred and Shanae. I was on Shanae's team and quickly progresses and was promoted to be an ADM, which then quickly turned into the ADM Team Lead where I managed four other K12 ADMs. Work was great. Up to that point at Instructure, I had blown my numbers out of the water every month. I don't want to gloat, but it's just fact that the position was simple for me. There were challenges of course managing others, but as far as the work went, it was simple for me. But Mike wanted to keep pushing me. I had told him I was slightly interested in sales and he told me he thought the same. He gave me the confidence to move forward and work towards becoming a Regional Director. I told myself after taking Professor Bone's sales class I'd never be in sales. Never would I ever do that! Why would I ever want to put myself in awkward stressful situations?? Bone's class was challenging. Very outside of your comfort level but I can tell you looking back that is the most impactful class I ever took. Oh and it was only 4 weeks long because it was a half semester course. I'll never forget SNE! Always SNE--schedule the next event.

As time went on, I kept preparing for sales even though it scared the crap out of me. Mike sent me an email telling me to call him. We were in Japan celebrating Misa and Tanner getting married and when I opened that email I panicked! I knew this was it. I called him and he told me there was an opening in sales and he wanted me to apply for it. Sheepishly and so not feeling confident in myself I asked if he thought I was truly ready. He said yes. I kept thinking to myself oh gosh, is this real?? Do I do this?? A couple weeks later I had an interview with Linda Larsen, the National director of K12 Sales. Linda and I hadn't had a ton of interaction but I had been on her radar for a long time as everyone told her about my work. She pulled me aside a couple months before this and asked if I'd like to be on her team. She said she knew about my work and needed some women.The interview was a breeze honestly. My colleagues knew me already. It was like we were just chatting in a room and they were so good to me during my demo (which I'm sure was horrendous) I was offered the job two weeks later. I owe this position and the experiences I'm having to the leaders in my life. Mike pushed me to progress here and on top of that my current manager, Brett and Linda push me to do well everyday. I just feel so incredibly lucky to be doing what I'm doing right now. I'm 24 years old for crying out loud! I've been to Alabama twice, Tennessee twice, Florida four times in seven months, and there are more trips to come.